So, it's been a while. Things are busy but REALLY good at work. I finally got my office all cleaned up and my apartment is still fairly clean -- though I need to get the pile of goodwill crap out of my living room. I'm really bad at that.
So every six months or so I decide to re-enter the dating world. Dating and I don't really get along. We aren't friends. For several reasons, but every now and then I decide to give it another chance.
I don't think I'm cut out for dating.
First of all, I don't like to have to adjust my life for someone else. I don't want to say that I'm set in my ways, because I love change, but for a first date I don't want to rearrange my entire schedule for something that there is no guarantee will be worth the hassle...
Second: I don't want to play games. I don't think that I should have to play "hard to get" or the other stupid coy games that women play. I'm almost 32, I'm tired of that business. Men seem to insist on that crap though. If you don't play the games with them they assume you're desperate... which is about as far from the truth as possible. I think if I'm interested in knowing a guy better I should be able to say so and he should be able to be honest in return. If he is too -- great we'll hang out. If he's not -- great we'll go our separate ways. I hate the bullshit... but MAN guys sure do love the bullshit.
Third: Why do we have to play "pretend I'm not interested so that he'll be MORE interested" or the "who's going to cave and call first" games? I'm not at all old fashioned and see no reason NOT to call someone if I'm interested in them -- Men don't like that. I'm not even talking about calling every day... but apparently after a date a dude has to wait 3 - 6 days before he calls you to tell you he had a good time and would like to see you again. By that time I've already moved on, PAL... so keep your games to yourself.
Fourth: I'm too IMPATIENT. I don't want to wait on you to decide that you do or don't like me. When you're being friends with someone you don't take that long to decide if you do or don't want to get to know a new friend better -- why the HELL does it take that long to know whether you want to get to know a potential date better or not.. if it takes you that long to decide you either need to practice your critical thinking skills or find a way to gain some confidence. I know in ten minutes whether you are worth my time or not. FIGURE IT OUT!! It's not a life time commitment -- IT'S FREAKING COFFEE OR DINNER...
Fifth: Why do I need to tell my friends about a dude.. they seem to get mad at me when I with hold dating information from them. I don't get it. I need to know if he's worth the investment BEFORE I ask for their input. If it's not going to work for me, I don't care what anyone else thinks of him. Plus -- why get everyone worked up over a guy until I know whether I can tolerate him or not. It also seems that EVERY time I go against my instincts to keep the dating information to myself and tell my friends about a potential guy he freaking disappears out of my life!!
Sixth: Why do guys disappear from my life and then show up six months later wanting to pick it up again?? Do they get sucked into some black hole and come out thinking that when they blew me off six months ago that I'm desperate enough to take them now? Or if I blew THEM off, that suddenly, six months later I want them.
I could go on, but I think I'll stop now.. the gist is that I HATE dating, it just doesn't seem to be worth it. I went to a bridal shower a few weeks ago for an Indian (from India) girl who works in my office. Hers is an arranged marriage. The parents provide her with a list of men they've chosen for her and she gets to pick from that list after meeting them and finding out of they are compatible. They meet the families of the men, get their back ground and give her the list. She met 23 men before she decided on this one. 10 years ago I would have thought that was crazy -- now it's starting to seem like a damn good idea...
I'm either lowering my standards or I'm going crazy...
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