Sometimes you just have to have the stuff you want!!

So, as I've stated in earlier posts, I've been working on changing my relationship with food.  I used to think it was hokey when people said things like "It's a lifestyle change."  It's not so much a "lifestyle" change for me as it is changing my relationship with food.  I'm from a typical mid-western family, where we turn to food when things aren't going well.  Unfortunately, I had a period growing up where a lot of things didn't go so well -- as I told my parents -- a lot of adult things happened in my life when I was just a kid.  My sister and I were kind of forced to grow up somewhat fast.  I'm not complaining and I would never say it was something that "happened to us" because I'm not a victim of anything other than science and poor eating habits.  One I had no control over and the other I used to make up for the lack of control. 

Anyway, I've always been against weight loss because I've always said "People should just F*$king accept me the way that I am!"  that was the angry me talking.  Then I realized that I was really angry at myself and to be honest -- as a fat person -- there were a lot of people telling me that I SHOULD hate myself, and for a long time I did.  I stopped hating myself several years ago, but I was still angry at myself.  Angry that I had let myself get so fat.  Angry that I seemed to have zero willpower to lose weight.

That's when I realized:  I am not the same person today as I was yesterday.  I'm DEFINITELY not the same person I was sixteen years ago -- it was THAT person who started down a path of food destruction -- not who I am now.  And the truth is -- you can't be mad at yourself for something you did when you were fifteen??!!  That's absurd!! It's like staying angry at yourself your entire life because you broke your leg once.  Do you remember yourself when you were fifteen??  You were, as I was, a MORON.  ALL FIFTEEN YEAR OLDS ARE MORONS!!  So I forgave myself for being fat and I stopped listening to a world that tells me that I'm not good enough because I'm fat (The diet industry spends BILLIONS of dollars a year to convince us we aren't good enough the way we are).  I realized that I AM good enough and that since I AM good enough it's time to think about my future -- which is considerably shorter unless I lose weight.

I don't have any health issues.  My blood sugar is on the low side of normal, my cholesterol is normal, my blood pressure is normal... but they won't stay that way.  So in January I asked my Doctor for help.  She is AMAZING and is an awesome cheerleader.  I think she is more excited when I lose weight than I am.  She recommended that I see a nutritionist.  I recommend that EVERYONE see a nutritionist.  He taught me how food works in my body and how the body uses and stores food.  Armed with that complete knowledge (and not just the vague knowledge of "whole wheat is healthier" or "Limit your calorie intake") it makes it SO MUCH easier to stay focused on eating the right thing.  The other thing I like about him is that he said -- "I'm not going to tell you not to eat something.  If you want it, you're an adult.  Eat it, but don't ONLY eat that."

Which completely set me free.  I can still have everything I LOVE, BUT now that I know how it works in my body I know how to balance it with healthier things.  For instance if I'm eating something fatty I start with a LARGE salad or finish with fat free yogurt and fresh berries.  The doctor told me to avoid grapes and pineapple because they have a large sugar content, but berries are good as is any fruit you peel.

Yes I eat salad.  By reading the "Eat This Not That" books I found different types of lettuce that I do like.  I still refuse to eat iceberg lettuce.  It has zero nutritional value, thus NO POINT (and it makes me unreasonably angry when it gets included on my plate somehow).  I like arugula, romaine, spinach.  I like to have a little bit of blue cheese in my salad.  And lite salad dressing (don't get low fat it's AWFUL -- the 70 calories are worth it).  Oh!  And tomatoes, I LOVE tomatoes!! 

I hope my family is sitting down for this next announcement -- I've only had mashed potatoes once since January.   And they were loaded with cheese and bacon.  It's delicious -- sue me ! :) 

I can't seem to kick my nacho habit.. so we go to the Mexican joint at least once a month to satisfy that craving.

I can't give up cheese.  On sandwiches I don't mind fat free cheeses (the Kraft Fat Free Swiss and American slices are both good) however in anything else I use the real thing.

It's all in balance.  I've increased my vegetable consumption by about 200%.  I'm even trying vegetables we never ate growing up -- broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts.  (We only had raw broccoli and cauliflower on veggie trays at holidays and NEVER brussel sprouts)

I'm also taking a multivitamin daily along with omega 3 fatty acids at each meal (as per my nutritionist) and a supplement called cholestoff (1 gram with any meal containing animal protein).   And I'm supposed to ride a recumbent stationary bike for 30 - 45 minutes a week (Started at 15 minutes and worked up) but I still find the exercise hard to do because life is so busy I have to get up at 5:30 am to have time to do it and I just love to sleep!!  But I'm working on it.


I've noticed that I've turned in to that person who always wants to talk about my weight loss journey and want to share what I've learned about food with anyone willing to listen.  It's not just that it helps me lose weight and stay focused.. I'm geeked about learning new stuff and sharing it with others because it's not anything they teach in schools AND THEY SHOULD!!!

Another way I stay motivated is by cooking, taking pictures of it, and posting it here.  I'm really proud when I learn to cook new healthier things.  It's geeky, but I like it.   I've discovered ground turkey and ground chicken.  Love ground chicken burgers they are DELICIOUS!!***(See note at bottom)

Anyway, today was one of those days that I was craving something not so healthy.  Mac N Cheese.  So, I made Mac N Cheese -- but with Whole Wheat Penne instead of regular.  It's a small change but a big deal.  Change everything you possibly can to WHOLE WHEAT.. not multi grain, but WHOLE WHEAT.  It is better for your blood sugar and acts as a timed release of sugars into your blood stream instead of dumping all the sugars into your system at once (all carbs are turned to sugar in your large intestines and then released into your blood stream from there).

Anyway, below is the Mac N Cheese I made today.  I tried to go somewhat gourmet with it and used six different cheeses.  It was pretty freaking delicious!!

Here's what I used.  Whole Wheat Penne pasta, smoked cheddar, rotisserie chicken from the deli, the new Philadelphia stir in cream cheese (Garlic), sun-dried tomatoes, goat cheese (basil/sun dried tomato and garlic/herb), Parmesan  and monterey jack cheese.  I also tossed in some frozen peas (not pictured).

A note on peas -- they are a starch as is corn.  Mid-westerns need to stop serving them with mashed potatoes and noodles -- it's so starchy it's a wonder we aren't all diabetic (and probably one of the reasons so many of us are). 

Put a pot of water on to boil.

When the water is boiling, add the penne and salt.  Don't add the salt before it's boiling because it's for flavor.  I know, mom (and your science teacher) always told you to salt water to help it boil faster, but it's pointless for the time it shaves off.  You don't want to have to salt your dish later, so salt the pasta water when you add the pasta and it flavors the pasta without too much added salt later.

Another note:  ALWAYS TASTE YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU SALT IT.  Pepper it all you want, though some cooks are insulted by peppering it before you try it.

Grate the cheese.  Pre-shredded is convenient, but they don't pre-shred smoked cheddar besides all the cooking shows tell you to buy it in blocks and grate it yourself for a better flavor.

Dice the sun dried tomatoes.

When the pasta is done, reserve about half a cup of the cooking liquid.

Here are the cheeses you are using.

I added about half the container of the cream cheese, I coarsely chopped the chicken, tossed in the sun-dried tomatoes and about a cup of peas.

Then I added a small amount of each of the goat cheeses.

After stirring, it needed a bit of loosening up so I added about 1/4 cup of the pasta cooking water.

I then tossed in the rest of the cheese, gave it a brief stir and transferred it to a baking dish.  I put it in the oven at 450 degrees for about 20 minutes.  Then I upped the temp to broil for about three minutes to brown it a bit.  Really what you're trying to do is heat it through, melt the cheese, and brown the top a bit.

It came out looking like this -- YUMMY!!

It was AMAZING!!! 


It wasn't healthy -- other than the whole wheat pasta. :)  but I had a salad with it and have left overs for lunch tomorrow.


Again, eat what you want, but balance it and don't eat it ALL the time.


Happy Eating!!


NOTE:  I published this and then re-read it and realized I forgot an important part.  Since January I've lost 23 lbs.  I thought I'd said that earlier, but apparently not.  That is a huge amount to a skinny person, but in my world it's a drop in the pan, but at least it's a start right?!!  I'm pretty damn proud of those 23 lbs!!! 

(It could have been more if I didn't have to have my nachos -- oh and EASTER CANDY is killing me.. I just cannot resist Starburst jelly beans or Cadbury Eggs!!)

Whole Wheat pizza.... and salad.

I was craving pizza today.  I don't know why.  I never crave pizza, but I was.  So I decided to try to find a semi-healthier way to do it. 

I'll be honest, I've always thought of pizza as a meat and cheese delivery system.  I've never put much stock in the crust.  I was wrong.  I decided to try tonight's pizza with a Boboli Whole Wheat crust.  It was OK, but kind of cardboardy.  I'll have to find another recipe for a whole wheat crust.  I do like the Pillsbury refrigerated pizza dough, it's delicious.  However, I try, when ever possible, to use things with whole wheat instead of regular bleached flour because it's healthier.  Anyway, so I'm posting this, but I would not recommend the boboli crust.  I'd get the refrigerated Pillsbury crust instead. 

Boboli Crust, pizza sauce, sun dried tomatoes, mushrooms, Italian sausage, and goat cheese.  

 Brown the sausage.  Breaking it up as you go.

 When it's all brown, remove from pan.

 And drain.  I like to put it on paper towel, then place paper towel on top and press down with a bowl to get as much grease out as possible.

 I then put it in the food processor.  I like to process the cooked sausage because then I use less sausage and it spreads over the pizza more evenly.

 I only pulsed it three times.

 The crust

 On a pizza stone because I like a crispy crust.

 I still haven't found a pizza sauce I really like.  This is OK.  They are all OK.  I think, sometime soon, I'm going to have to make it from scratch.  Since I started doing that with my marinara and meat sauce I find any tomato sauce from a jar bland and pointless.

 Spread it thinly over the pizza.  I don't like really saucy pizzas.

 See, just a thin layer.

Mushrooms.  I would recommend buying some mini-portabello and sauteing them with garlic and onion and adding them to your pizza.  These are yucky canned ones.  I was trying to be cheap.  They are OK. 

I spread them all over the pizza.  I love mushrooms.  LOVE LOVE LOVE them!!

I saw some morel mushrooms in the store the other day.  They were $60/lb.  I love them, but not THAT much.  Especially since the season is almost here and I can get some for free. :) 

Sun-Dried Tomatoes packed in olive oil.  I usually like the dry packed ones, but these were what they had at the store.  I'm noticing a theme here.. kind of just went with it.. again it all turned out OK.

I just sliced them.  They were all oily and hard to cut. 

Did I mention that I like the dry packed ones?

I only put them on half the pizza.  Just trying something. :) 

Sausage crumbles.  This time I used Italian sausage, but sage sausage is my favorite.  Again I wanted to try something.  This is good stuff, but I really LOVE the sage stuff.

I put it on the opposite half from the sun dried tomatoes. I only used about a cup of sausage.  I flash froze the rest of it. 

Flash freezing:  I spread it out on a cookie sheet and put it in the freezer for about a half hour then put it in a baggie. It freezes it as individual crumbles instead of a huge clump.  So next time I have pizza I don't have to cook sausage, just pull it out of the freezer and use as much as I need. 

Goat cheese.  I love goat cheese.  I only discovered it two months ago when I decided to make stuffed chicken. I pounded out a chicken breast and rolled herb/garlic goat cheese and mushrooms in it then baked it.  It was AMAZING..

That's not this post.

This post is about pizza.

I used sun-dried tomato and basil goat cheese AND garlic - herb goat cheese.  Goat cheese is also known as Chevre (which is french for goat). 

I put the sun-dried tomato/basil on the sun dried tomato side of the pizza and put the herb/garlic all over. 

I couldn't resist adding mozzarella.  I love mozzarella so I added it.

 But only to the sausage/mushroom side of the pizza.  I then shoved it in the oven to bake for about 10 minutes.

This is what it looked like when I took it out.  YUM!! Sorry the lighting is bad -- this one I took with my cell phone.  For some reason in that 10 minutes I went stupid and forgot I had a camera sitting right there. 

So while the pizza was cooking, I realized that I needed some veggies.  So I decided on a salad. 

Yes, I said salad.  I realize that salad goes against everything I believed in my whole life.  I hate lettuce.  It tastes like dirt -- I've said that my whole life.  If you asked my family what foods I hate the most it would be raw onions and lettuce.  Then I realized that I don't hate all kind of lettuce.. just iceberg lettuce. 

I'm justified.  There is absolutely ZERO nutritional value in iceberg lettuce.  So I was validated by hating it.  So I choose instead a mix that includes NO iceberg. 

These here are the ingredients for the BEST SALAD EVER!!  I could eat THIS salad every day.  It's a 50/50 Baby Mix (Baby spinach, baby romaine, baby leaf), cherry tomatoes, red onion, blue cheese, and lite buttermilk ranch. 

If you are looking for a salad dressing and prefer ranch go for lite instead of fat-free.  The fat-free is disgusting and the taste is completely off.  The lite stuff tastes like the real stuff and is only 70 cals per serving. 

A little red onion for more color.  The baby leaf lettuce is purple, but I do like pretty salad.

I halve the cherry tomatoes and probably use more than I need, but I just love them so much.  Hey it could be potato chips or cookies  -- at least it's a veggie!!

To me, this is the BEST part.  I LOVE BLEU CHEESE!!  It pairs well with the sweetness of the tomato and the bite of the red onion.  It ads a tangy flavor to the salad.  It's yummy, try it sometime with this specific combo.

I promise it's AMAZING!

Add two tablespoons of the lite ranch and toss together.  (2 Tablespoons is 70 calories).  It's pretty, yummy and the PERFECT starter for pizza.

Then I had two slices:  One of each kind.  They were good. 

I'd still use a different crust next time-- and the sage sausage. 

Still pretty yummy!

Did I really just hear that...?

Well, I realized something about myself and my life this weekend.  I've never heard a real gun fired in person... well except a BB-gun. 

Well, until Saturday night.

I should explain that I have a fairly nice apartment in a somewhat questionable part of town.  Now, I've never had any issues and know a lot of my neighbors.  Yes, there is an out-patient drug rehab center half a block away and some pretty shady looking people hang around.  But can I really blame them they are at least TRYING to get it together.  Well, anyway, mostly I'm surrounded by students.  Things have been pretty quiet around here -- well until about the last month or so.

The house next door is, apparently, an unofficial fraternity house.  It's unofficial because the fraternity does have an official house but is on probation with the university so they cannot get caught having any parties at their "official" house. 

The weekend before spring break they had a party that went on until 4am.  I didn't have an issue because when I went to bed and turned on my fan I couldn't hear their noise and, more importantly, neither could Sassy. 

This weekend was another story.  Thursday night they had a party.  They had something like 300 folks over for a cook out.  Now, they are really nice boys and they are friends with my upstairs neighbors.  The boys upstairs are very respectful.  When I went to take Sassy out they offered me food, which was nice of them.  I declined because I was on my way back in to work to deal with stupid stuff.  When I got home there were like 20 people on my front porch, sitting on our steps, hanging out with the boys from upstairs.  When Zack, one of the boys upstairs, saw my car pull up he told everyone it was time to go and they all headed next door.  He smiled and told me to let him know if they were too loud.  See -- nice boy!  Well the party next door went until about 3am.  Again Sassy and I were able to go to be during it so no big deal.

Saturday, however, we weren't.  I was sick over the weekend so I was already somewhat cranky.  They had another party and were loud at 2:30am and Sassy was going nuts so I called the police and filed a noise complaint.  The dispatcher told me that it was the second complaint they had received and officers would be down soon.  About ten minutes later they showed up.  Things quieted down.

For about 20 minutes.  Just long enough for Sassy and I to get settled into bed.  I was watching some TV trying to sleep, which was already difficult because my tonsils were so swollen that I couldn't swallow at all and could barely breathe.  Anyway, we just get settled down and I hear five loud popping sounds...

and then a bunch of screaming and running from next door... 

I was stunned... was that gunshots fired next door? 

I'd never heard gunshots in real life and didn't want to call the police if it wasn't gunshots...  but I heard people running and talking about it... so if figured it really was and called the police back. 

It was gunshots.   

Now, I've been telling campus police for weeks that if they are bored on a Thursday they should stop by because I know where the party will be.  For some reason they haven't taken me seriously. 

Today I was at work and my boss came into my office and said, "Did you have to call the police this weekend?"  He then went on to tell me that at his earlier meeting they  had talked about a birthday party this weekend where they had kicked a guy out and he came back later with a gun and walked into the house and started randomly shooting around the room just above people's heads.  Someone approached him to intervene and the guy pointed the gun right at the intervener and pulled the trigger, but the gun was empty.  He then took off running.   

I said, "Yep, that was next door!" 

I'm moving soon.  Not soon enough, but soon -- anyone want to help??

Peanut Noodles with Shredded Chicken and Veggies

Well, here I am again.  Cooking.  I was sick all weekend with a very gross sore throat and could barely swallow or talk.  Today I'm feeling much better and can actually swallow so I wanted real food.  A day and a half of chicken noodle soup was about to kill me!!

This recipe is from my new cookbook.  It's the "Eating Well:  Healthy in a Hurry Cookbook" by Jim Romanoff and the editors of Eating Well magazine.  It turned out pretty good, but I used too many noodles.  If I use an entire box of spaghetti again I'd double the sauce -- I may double it again.  But the first time I make a recipe I make it exactly as it reads and then mix it up later. 

Ingredients:  1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breast, 1/2 cup smooth peanut butter (I used what I had on had, but the recipe actually calls for natural peanut butter),  2 tablespoons reduced-sodium soy sauce, 2 teaspoons minced garlic, 1 1/2 teaspoons of Chile-garlic sauce, 1 teaspoon ginger, 8oz whole wheat spaghetti, and veggies.  (Note:  The recipe calls for "1 12oz bag of fresh vegetable medley, such as carrots, broccoli, and snow peas.  I had Carrots on hand and had Jess pick up a head of fresh broccoli which is not in this picture because I took it prior to Jess getting to my house).

Put a large pot of water on to boil for cooking pasta.  I used my  largest pot because I knew I was cooking a whole box of spaghetti plus fresh veggies.

Place chicken in a skillet or pan and add enough water to cover; bring to a boil.  Cover, reduce head to low and simmer gently until cooked through and no longer pink in the middle.  It ended up being 12 minutes for the small piece and about 14 - 15 for the largest piece. 

 Next, chop your veggies into bite size pieces.  I had some left over carrots in the fridge that I chopped, I chopped the broccoli to small pieces, and I had some green onions that I chopped as well. 

In a large bowl, add 1/2 cup of peanut butter.

2 tablespoons of low-sodium soy sauce

1/2 teaspoon of chile-garlic sauce

Don't forget the 2 teaspoons of minced garlic, and 1 teaspoon minced ginger.

Whisk it all together and you get kind of a paste.  Then set it aside.

 

Shred the chicken.  Take it out of the water and let it stand for 5 - 10 minutes so that it's cool.  I used two forks to pull it apart, but you can use your hands if you don't mind getting them dirty.  I hate getting my hands dirty -- when I used to decorate cakes I had to wash my hands every five minutes because I hated the feeling of the icing on my hands.. and under my finger nails.  ICK!
 

Put your pasta on to boil.   The brand I used said to let it cook for 10 minutes.  I added the vegetable after it had cooked for 8 minutes and then cooked the veggies with the pasta for the last two minutes.  Save 1 cup of the pasta liquid and then drain and rinse with cool water to freshen it.  (I messed up and forgot to save the cup of pasta water) 

I love cooking fresh vegetables.  The color brightens and is so pretty!! 

Throw the pasta/veggies in the pan and add the chicken. 

I messed up a tiny bit here.  When you drain the pasta you are supposed save 1 cup of the water, which I did not do.  So I had some chicken stock in the cupboard and used that instead. 
Mix the one cup of liquid into the sauce paste. Whisk it together until you get a slightly thick sauce. 

Pour it over the pasta/veggies/chicken and toss it all together.  Looks yummy, right?!!

Here it is dished up for Jess and me to enjoy!! I sprinkled the green onion on top and it looked so pretty!!

It was very good, but beware, that chile-garlic sauce packs a punch!! I would still double the sauce next time, if I use the whole box of spaghetti noodles.