Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hard Pill to Swallow

Well, I got shit on today...

One of our grads sent an email to our other Assistant Director and myself today -- pretty much raking us over the coals.  At first I was PISSED, and to be honest my anger was justified.  Professionally, you should NEVER send your bosses' boss an email bitching them out... I mean talk about your CLM!!! (Career limiting move) AND an email no less -- I thought EVERYONE knew that you NEVER EVER send emails to express feelings.. the person does not read it with your intent behind it but with their own insecurities in front of it... ARG.. you'd think someone who deals in conflict resolution for a profession would realize that...

Anyway -- once I got past the method and some of the backhanded accusatory wording -- I was able to process the real issues and can understand where he was coming from.  His assumptions were completely wrong and were based in his own insecurities, but that's all he has to go on, so I can see why he made the assumptions he made.

I was hurt, though, that after two years he didn't know me better than that...

But then I realized that as the "boss" no one really ever gets to know me and they will always interpret my actions in a negative way because I am the "boss."

Then I realized that I HATE being the boss.... sometimes -- I love it when I get to do new things and it's fun -- but really REALLY hate it when my actions inadvertently hurt someone else's feelings -- especially when I didn't realize that it would and they think it's intentional.. that just hurts my soul.

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