Of all the.... SHEESH

So we were helping Jess move today.  I had organized a small army to help us move her stuff to her new and bigger apartment.  I'm excited for her, she was in an efficiency and now she actually has a separate bedroom.  It's really  nice. 

Anyway, so we bribed the guys to come out by offering Pizza and beer, but since we started at 9am Jess also offered mimosas and bloody marys as well as beer and I got donuts.  It was delightful. And with our group of friends, it was, as always, freaking hilarious!  Ben was drunk by 9:30am. 

Anyway, so we had taken two loads to the new apartment were taking a break on her little outdoor patio area when her phone rings.  It's a private number so she answers it and it's the cable company calling to set up a time to hook up her Internet in her new apartment. 

There are 2 back-stories that you need to know: 

1.  I have very few rules in my world, but one of them is that I absolutely do not date anyone who knows my friends or work colleagues (most of the time they are the same).  Anyway, I have this rule to minimize drama in my life.  I don't like for my dating life to cross paths with the rest of my world-- ever -- or at LEAST until it gets serious.  It's easier and waaay less drama that way. 

2.  In previous posts I mentioned that I dated the cable guy?  Well for the past year and a half my biggest fear has been that I'd call the cable company for service and he'd be the one to show up -- and it would happen when my friends were around (see story 1). 


Back to TODAY

So we're taking a break and the cable company calls.  Jess, who knows I dated the cable guy, but of course has never met him, gives me a look and sees me send up a silent prayer to the PTB so before she hangs up she says, "So who am I talking to again?"  She looks at me and says, "Thanks, Matt, I'll see you soon."  and hangs up.  Then she stares me down.. my reply is "Matt is a common name -- it doesn't mean it's Matty Fantastic...." (Which was our nickname for him).

So everyone else looks at me funny when I say that, so I jokingly say -- "Remember that time I dated the cable guy?"  Ben and Adam both know what I'm talking about, but Lindsey, Dan, Zac, and Andy were clueless.  I said "No seriously, remember that time I dated the cable guy?  There's a 60 - 90% chance you'll get to meet him today."  All the while praying that it wouldn't happen.  It would be awkward.  Of course Adam and Ben started making cable "installation" jokes... awesome, it was going to be awkward...

Backstory #3:  Matt (I usually only refer to him a "Cable Guy" so calling him by name is weird) and I stopped seeing each other when I found out his recently ex-wife was pregnant with his baby -- and was due in a month.  He went back to her and they moved to Ft Wayne for a while. 

Anyway, so I was hopeful.  We were on our third load and I was walking out to unload some stuff from Dan's truck when I saw the big cable truck pull in -- and Matty Fantastic was at the wheel.  I don't know if he saw me, but I tried to be inconspicuous.  I walked back inside, found Jess and said "It's him"  and she knew..   and asked if I wanted to start unpacking the bedroom to say out of sight.  Well, anyone who knows me knows that was a great big "HELL NO"  I don't run scared!!

I walked back outside to help carry more stuff and as I approached the group he was parking his truck and I walked toward the group of my friends and quietly said, "Yep, it's him"  Adam and Ben both almost fell down laughing at me.  I asked them to please "Be cool!"  I think they all were curious because they don't necessarily look at me as someone who dates.. just as a boss

So, he walks up and Jess greets him as they walk in I was standing there and he looked at me out of the corner of his eye and smiled and winked.  I greeted him and we chatted and caught up while he was installing her cable and Internet.  All the while, the rest of the group (Adam, Ben, Jess, Lindsey, Andy, Dan, and Zac) were all on the patio just outside of the door drinking and laughing.  Every two or three minutes Ben would come inside and offer Cable Guy a drink and would try to convince him to drink with us and hang out or do a shot.  After about the third time Cable guy looked at me and said, "Your friends are pretty cool -- they seem like a lot of fun"  I just replied with "Yep, they're crazy, but a lot of fun."  He told me they had moved to Ft Wayne, but his mom got sick so he moved back (he just said "I moved back" not "We moved back") and took a job as a technician (he had been a supervisor/manager before).  He also gave me a pointed look and asked me if I was seeing anyone.  Since he emailed me last week and asked if I wanted to hang out i wasn't surprised. 

PTB or I would have been red faced!!  Anyway he gave me his cell and told me to call him sometime this week and he'd come over and take a look at my Internet.

I know this isn't a big deal for most people, but I try really REALLY hard to keep things compartmentalized and to have an overlap like that kind of threw me.  Of course they made fun of me for the rest of the day about the "installation." 

Perverts!!

On a good note, we finished getting her moved in about 2 hours then went to Adam's (who lives in the same complex as Jess just across the parking lot) and watched football and ate pizza.  It was a good day. 

I only almost died once from laughter -- so I call that a definite SUCCESS!!

MAKE A DECISION

So I was just emailing my dad and decided to put this out there for everyone..

Please learn to make a decision on your own from time to time....

I have something of a reputation as a control freak or being bossy.. it is not intentional in the slightest.  In fact it's not even my fault at all...

How many times have you made plans to go out with friends/family and spent an hour in this conversation:

"What sounds good?"
"I don't know, what sounds good to you?"
"I don't know, nothing really.  What do you want to do?"
"I don't know.. anything sound good to you?"
"Not really, what do you think we should do?"
"Honestly, I don't care, does anything sound good to you?"
"I don't know.  Anything sounds good, what do you think"
"How about Tacos?"
"We could do tacos, I guess"
"Does that sound good?"
"Ehh"
"Ok we don't have to do tacos, what does sound good?"
"I don't know.."

And this conversation is between TWO people... and it DRIVES ME CRAZY...

I have this conversation EVERY TIME I GO OUT... I try to share the decision making..

Eventually I get frustrated and offer two options.. last night it started out like that and then it went to this.

Me:  "Ok, so no Tacos, what does sound good?"
Friend: "I don't know.  Chinese food?  But I can't really afford that.."
Me:  "Ok, so something cheap?"
Friend: "Yes.  But nothing sounds good.  Ohh cheese and crackers, I can always each cheese and crackers."
Me: "We can't just have cheese and crackers -- we won't poop for a week." 
Friend: "I don't know."
Me:  "How about frozen Pizza?"
Friend: "I guess, but pizza doesn't really sound good."
Me (getting frustrated): "Ok, how about this -- Frozen Pizza or Chicken and Rice?"
Friend: "How much work is Chicken and Rice?  I don't want you to have to put a lot of effort in to it."
Me:  "Either one takes about the same amount of work.  I'm narrowing it down to Frozen Pizza or chicken and Rice."
Friend: "Are you sure, I dont' want you to have to cook." 
Me: "I don't care, we just need to make a decision.  I narrowed it down, DECIDE."
Friend: "I don't know, what do you think."
Me: "FINE, Chicken and Rice.  It's not a lot of prep I just slam some rice down, put chicken on top and top with soup. it's fine."
Friend: "are you sure?"
Me:  "YES"

This is almost a WEEKLY conversation.. and it drives me nuts. 

Dear Indecisive People: 

START MAKING DECISIONS PLEASE!!  No one will get mad or hurt if you state your opinion or what you want.  Stop trying to appease everyone, all you're doing it  pissing me off and then I have to hold it in a pretend like it's not pissing me off -- guess what -- THAT'S GIVING ME AN ULCER!! 

Love Stephanie.

Another One

So, I went on a rant about dating...

I know that makes some people uncomfortable...  Sorry but I do enjoy a good rant.

We were discussing dating on girls night last week and I realized that my true motivation for dating is the story...

Remember that time I date the cable guy (specifically the quality control manager for the cable company).... hey at least I got free installation of cable and my issues fixed FAST...and then I found out his ex was preggars with his baby and was due in a month.... nice!

Remember that time I dated the fire fighter... he had the big truck and the crazy ex and a dog ate his phone....

Remember that time I dated the geologist... and his crazy ex-wife called me and cussed me out...

Remember that time I dated the crazy dude.... we went on three dates and he wanted to go home with me for the two weeks at Christmas... and his name was DJ -- which in my head is NOT a grown up's name...

Remember I dated that dude back in January who pursued me religiously and called me four times a day and then just fell off the earth.... then he called me a month ago and asked me out again....

Remember that time I dated the really hot guy (Surprised -- I was too) and he stood me up on our fifth date because his "hot neighbor came over for a quickie and he couldn't say no" 

Remember how I say they disappear and reappear in my life:

Cable guy is back on the dating scene and wants to "hang out"

It's all about the story....

I'll probably hang out with him just to see what's up.. I'll update later. :)

At least I put myself out there..

Even if it is only because I expect a story out of it...

Interviewing

I hate being an internal candidate.

As an internal candidate you have absolutely no idea how you did.  People either judge you very harshly because they know you and your faults OR they judge you very positively because they know you and your strengths. 

I've perfected the ability to no care what people think of me, so I honestly have no idea what people think of me most of the time.  I think I'm likable and the people feel that I'm good at my job, but I don't honestly know -- because the people I care about give me constant feedback.

I think I did well.  I know my stuff, I've done my research, and I"m freaking GOOD at what I do.  We'll see if it's good enough. 

Lots and Lots of Interesting Stuff

So, it's been a while.  Things are busy but REALLY good at work.  I finally got my office all cleaned up and my apartment is still fairly clean -- though I need to get the pile of goodwill crap out of my living room.  I'm really bad at that.

So every six months or so I decide to re-enter the dating world.  Dating and I don't really get along.  We aren't friends.  For several reasons, but every now and then I decide to give it another chance.

I don't think I'm cut out for dating.

First of all, I don't like to have to adjust my life for someone else.  I don't want to say that I'm set in my ways, because I love change, but for a first date I don't want to rearrange my entire schedule for something that there is no guarantee will be worth the hassle...

Second: I don't want to play games.  I don't think that I should have to play "hard to get" or the other stupid coy games that women play.  I'm almost 32, I'm tired of that business.  Men seem to insist on that crap though.  If you don't play the games with them they assume you're desperate... which is about as far from the truth as possible. I think if I'm interested in knowing a guy better I should be able to say so and he should be able to be honest in return.  If he is too -- great we'll hang out.  If he's not -- great we'll go our separate ways.  I hate the bullshit... but MAN guys sure do love the bullshit.

Third: Why do we have to play "pretend I'm not interested so that he'll be MORE interested" or the "who's going to cave and call first" games?  I'm not at all old fashioned and see no reason NOT to call someone if I'm interested in them -- Men don't like that.  I'm not even talking about calling every day... but apparently after a date a dude has to wait 3 - 6 days before he calls you to tell you he had a good time and would like to see you again.  By that time I've already moved on, PAL... so keep your games to yourself.

Fourth:  I'm too IMPATIENT.  I don't want to wait on you to decide that you do or don't like me.  When you're being friends with someone you don't take that long to decide if you do or don't want to get to know a new friend better -- why the HELL does it take that long to know whether you want to get to know a potential date better or not.. if it takes you that long to decide you either need to practice your critical thinking skills or find a way to gain some confidence.  I know in ten minutes whether you are worth my time or not.  FIGURE IT OUT!!  It's not a life time commitment -- IT'S FREAKING COFFEE OR DINNER...

Fifth:  Why do I need to tell my friends about a dude.. they seem to get mad at me when I with hold dating information from them.  I don't get it.  I need to know if he's worth the investment BEFORE I ask for their input.  If it's not going to work for me, I don't care what anyone else thinks of him.  Plus -- why get everyone worked up over a guy until I know whether I can tolerate him or not.  It also seems that EVERY time I go against my instincts to keep the dating information to myself and tell my friends about a potential guy he freaking disappears out of my life!!

Sixth:  Why do guys disappear from my life and then show up six months later wanting to pick it up again??  Do they get sucked into some black hole and come out thinking that when they blew me off six months ago that I'm desperate enough to take them now?  Or if I blew THEM off, that suddenly, six months later I want them.


I could go on, but I think I'll stop now.. the gist is that I HATE dating, it just doesn't seem to be worth it.  I went to a bridal shower a few weeks ago for an Indian (from India) girl who works in my office.  Hers is an arranged marriage.  The parents provide her with a list of men they've chosen for her and she gets to pick from that list after meeting them and finding out of they are compatible.  They meet the families of the men, get their back ground and give her the list.  She met 23 men before she decided on this one.  10 years ago I would have thought that was crazy -- now it's starting to seem like a damn good idea...

I'm either lowering my standards or I'm going crazy...