So I got a facebook message from my cousin Megan last night. She said that one of her cousins (on her mom's side) had committed suicide within the last day. She asked me if I remembered her and I did vaguely -- in my head I remembered a blond, but that's about as far as the memory went. But the name was familiar. So I looked her up on facebook. She was, of course, friends with Megan so she was fairly easy to find. Seeing her facebook page made me tear up -- not because I instantly recognized her, because while she was somewhat familiar I still don't have a solid memory and we didn't hang out -- but I teared up because on the first page of her facebook were pictures of her little girl.
I just don't have the words to express my sympathy to her family and friends. Suicide is always tough to deal with because no matter the circumstances the friends and family always feel guilty -- what more could I have done, why didn't i see that she was so bad... and the list of self berating statements goes on an on. The truth is that there is probably NOTHING anyone could have done. Unfortunately, when someone makes the decision to kill themselves they are in such a dark place with absolutely no light that they will find a way, no matter how much you try. Beating yourself up doesn't help you and certainly does not help them -- just learn to always make sure that the people you love know that you love them.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you pray, pray for her family, if you greive, greive for her family and what they have lost. And for her little girl who needs them more than anyone. And if you love, tell them. You can't assume that other's know how you feel -- they often have no idea.
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