Interviewing

I hate being an internal candidate.

As an internal candidate you have absolutely no idea how you did.  People either judge you very harshly because they know you and your faults OR they judge you very positively because they know you and your strengths. 

I've perfected the ability to no care what people think of me, so I honestly have no idea what people think of me most of the time.  I think I'm likable and the people feel that I'm good at my job, but I don't honestly know -- because the people I care about give me constant feedback.

I think I did well.  I know my stuff, I've done my research, and I"m freaking GOOD at what I do.  We'll see if it's good enough. 

Lots and Lots of Interesting Stuff

So, it's been a while.  Things are busy but REALLY good at work.  I finally got my office all cleaned up and my apartment is still fairly clean -- though I need to get the pile of goodwill crap out of my living room.  I'm really bad at that.

So every six months or so I decide to re-enter the dating world.  Dating and I don't really get along.  We aren't friends.  For several reasons, but every now and then I decide to give it another chance.

I don't think I'm cut out for dating.

First of all, I don't like to have to adjust my life for someone else.  I don't want to say that I'm set in my ways, because I love change, but for a first date I don't want to rearrange my entire schedule for something that there is no guarantee will be worth the hassle...

Second: I don't want to play games.  I don't think that I should have to play "hard to get" or the other stupid coy games that women play.  I'm almost 32, I'm tired of that business.  Men seem to insist on that crap though.  If you don't play the games with them they assume you're desperate... which is about as far from the truth as possible. I think if I'm interested in knowing a guy better I should be able to say so and he should be able to be honest in return.  If he is too -- great we'll hang out.  If he's not -- great we'll go our separate ways.  I hate the bullshit... but MAN guys sure do love the bullshit.

Third: Why do we have to play "pretend I'm not interested so that he'll be MORE interested" or the "who's going to cave and call first" games?  I'm not at all old fashioned and see no reason NOT to call someone if I'm interested in them -- Men don't like that.  I'm not even talking about calling every day... but apparently after a date a dude has to wait 3 - 6 days before he calls you to tell you he had a good time and would like to see you again.  By that time I've already moved on, PAL... so keep your games to yourself.

Fourth:  I'm too IMPATIENT.  I don't want to wait on you to decide that you do or don't like me.  When you're being friends with someone you don't take that long to decide if you do or don't want to get to know a new friend better -- why the HELL does it take that long to know whether you want to get to know a potential date better or not.. if it takes you that long to decide you either need to practice your critical thinking skills or find a way to gain some confidence.  I know in ten minutes whether you are worth my time or not.  FIGURE IT OUT!!  It's not a life time commitment -- IT'S FREAKING COFFEE OR DINNER...

Fifth:  Why do I need to tell my friends about a dude.. they seem to get mad at me when I with hold dating information from them.  I don't get it.  I need to know if he's worth the investment BEFORE I ask for their input.  If it's not going to work for me, I don't care what anyone else thinks of him.  Plus -- why get everyone worked up over a guy until I know whether I can tolerate him or not.  It also seems that EVERY time I go against my instincts to keep the dating information to myself and tell my friends about a potential guy he freaking disappears out of my life!!

Sixth:  Why do guys disappear from my life and then show up six months later wanting to pick it up again??  Do they get sucked into some black hole and come out thinking that when they blew me off six months ago that I'm desperate enough to take them now?  Or if I blew THEM off, that suddenly, six months later I want them.


I could go on, but I think I'll stop now.. the gist is that I HATE dating, it just doesn't seem to be worth it.  I went to a bridal shower a few weeks ago for an Indian (from India) girl who works in my office.  Hers is an arranged marriage.  The parents provide her with a list of men they've chosen for her and she gets to pick from that list after meeting them and finding out of they are compatible.  They meet the families of the men, get their back ground and give her the list.  She met 23 men before she decided on this one.  10 years ago I would have thought that was crazy -- now it's starting to seem like a damn good idea...

I'm either lowering my standards or I'm going crazy...

Imagine...

Well, it's been an interesting week.  I'm exhausted and there is basically two days left!! :(

I did a lot of cooking this week.  Made a badass sundried tomato-bacon macaroni & cheese -- DELICIOUS.  Last night Jess and Lindsey came over and I made grandma's scallopped chicken with mashed potatoes and peas.  MAN Was it delicious!!  Sorry -- I didn't take pictures this time.  Maybe next time.

I just took the MBTI again and think this time I got an honest assessment of my personality type. 

If you want to take it, here's the link:  MBTI Personality Test

My result was ENTP here is another Description.

I think it's a fair assessment, but I'm fairly even on most of it so my type changes based on what I'm going through in my life. Since each individual section is a continuum, I'm pretty 50/50 on Extrovert/Introvert, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving.  But the way I typically live my life is ENTP. 

Cleaning Continues

Well, the cleaning continues... MAN!! I have a LOT of crap!! Yesterday I took out six garbage bags of crap, and I have two more half filled ones in my dining room.. A lot of it is old paperwork that I shredded, but still...

I'm donating three trash bags full of clothes, a vacuum, a 12 in TV, a rug, a fan, a bunch of knick knacky stuff.. How did I accumulate all this CRAP!! 

My bedroom and two closets are SPOTLESS, I got my desk at home cleaned out and got half the place dusted last night.. on to the other half tonight and perhaps the bathroom too.  It shouldn't take long now since I got most of the crap sorted.

I used to have a bunch of boxes hidden in and around my living room because there wasn't room in the closets.. once I get rid of all the crap I will have plenty of room and hope to move my living room around.

My sister gave me like six or seven martini glass paintings that I need to hang somewhere...

I don't want to admit it, but I love cleaning... it is something that makes me feel productive and I see immediate results... its unfortunate that i don't have the energy or motivation to keep it up as often as I should...

My life would be perfect IF I had a washer/dryer in the house -- well that and a screen door. :)

Number two: CHECK

Well, I got my second walk-in closet cleaned out today.  Still need to organize it and get some stuff back in, but all in all -- good productive weekend!! :)  I hope I have time this week to work on it.  I have some boxes hidden around my livin room that I want to get in and lots of laundry to do, but I think it will be good.  My goal now is to do a deep clean of my whole house.  I can hardly wait to get started. 

Next up -->  My office!!

Surprising Productivity

So, I had a strangely productive day.  I had to go to the Football tailgate today.  It's political and I HATE politics.. however I need to do it more.  It was fun though.  Great food and beer is hard to top.  YUM!!

Then I decided to clean out my closet.  I have two large walk in closets in my bedroom and it was time to do some cleaning.  I have two trash bags of clothes to donate and more space.  I also got my laundry all sorted.. i sure would love to have on-site laundry.

I'm going to be sore tomorrow though because I was up and down on a chair to get to the upper shelves in the closet.


Up to late.  Nite nite.

The Other Guys...

Yesterday was almost perfect. 

I don't say that much, but yesterday was almost perfect!  I had one of those average days at work, but after work -- well that's when it got almost perfect.. well perfect in my current life situation...

We went out for BBQ for dinner -- Lindsey, Jess, Andy, and Ben.  Then Jess went to her play practice and Lindsey went back to work.  Andy and Ben came over for beer and then we met Adam (TH Adam) at the movies and saw "The Other Guys"  HOLYFUNNYMOVIE BATMAN!!  I laughed so hard I cried probably five times... three of those five I'm pretty sure I almost wet myself.  It was so freaking funny.

Now, for those of you who aren't Will Ferrell  fans, I know you don't believe me in how funny it was.  But also note that Mark Wahlberg was in it.. The two of them together was amazing... and I think it was more Mark who was funny and Will Ferrell's reaction to Mark's character that was so funny.  I also think it was the group I went with.. you should always ALWAYS go see funny movies with people you think are funny.  It makes it a million times better. 

We went out for a beer afterwards and laughed  more.  It was ALMOST to the level of a laughter hangover this morning, but not quite. 

I love my life.